Local Taco Bell Disheartened by USS Committee Progression
As the United States Senate is taken over by a dictator-like group of southerners, nearby Taco Bell feels personally attacked by the committee’s statements and plans to build a border-lining …
Quiz: Do You Know how to Save Africa like NATO?
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1UPgsDwNuy0TjAfy2KDVZM_TsxhedVaEDh7S-gi2Q0Ow/edit?usp=sharing
Refugee Kidnapped by Russian Mafia Delighted by the Lack of Action
The Onion 2:46 p.m. PDT Moscow—Making a stark pivot from their historical position, the Russian Federation has thrown away its $24.20 CAD paperback mint condition Communist Manifesto for a signed …
Lindsay Graham Announces Advantages of Being Denied Access to Local McDonalds
The Onion 10:00 a.m. PDT 411 US-521, Andrews, SC 29510—Whilst in the midst of intensive debate, Senator Mitch McConnell once again demonstrates his immense Americanism as he forgets the differences …
Broke Little Countries Without Big Boy Crime Rings Attempts to Stay in the Conversation
The Onion 8:00 pm PST Brussel[s] (Sprouts)—After questioning local babies on the geographical location of Finland and Greece, their stubby fingers point and reveal crucial, classified information: nobody cares. Whether …